Most of us are creatures of habit

Most of us are creatures of habit, and if we’re honest with ourselves, some of them could be considered unhealthyfor us. Unhealthy habits can, by their very nature, become so because they’re exactly that – unhealthy –  which often equates with ‘too much’: too much takeaway, too much alcohol, too much TV, too much sugar, too much couch-surfing, too much partying … you get the idea.

Often, such habits become ingrained to the degree that they become coping habits. By definition, this means we repeat a habit to cope with a situation that’s so familiar, we adopt the habit as a temporary ‘fix’, only to discover, though, that the ‘fix’ didn’t fix!

So, how can we use the power of daily rituals to change this?

From the time we move out of bed, put our feet on the floor and maybe head to the bathroom, most of us tend to follow routines, so why not put them to good use? Here are ten examples of daily rituals that can help:

1. As you wake up, lie still and take a few slow, deep breaths. Feel into your body as you do and imagine your in-breath reaching all the way down to your toes. This activates the vagus nerve, which shifts our state to one of calm, better mood and creativity, setting us up for a more positive outlook.
2. When your feet touch the floor for the first time, really pay attention to the soles of your feet, as they contact whatever surface they’re on: is it soft, cold, warm, textured? This brings awareness to your surroundings, and with practice, helps us become more aware of ourselves and others.
3. If you feel tight in your body, find some brief stretching routines that work for you. These will bring your awareness into your body (always a good thing!) so you can feel what’s going on. It’s especially important for men to learn to be ‘in-body’ so we know when things might not be ok. Ongoing discomfort is a sign that something isn’t as it’s supposed to be, so it might be time for a visit to our health professional.
4. A brisk walk is a great way to get the heart rate up, blood circulating, muscles working and lungs aerobically operational. The oxygenation of our brain through increased blood flow helps with cognitive function too, so it sets up the day ahead.
5. If you have breakfast before work, consider what you’re eating. A heavy, sugar- and fat-filled feast is unlikely to support your need for focus and energy throughout the day. Opt for lighter, healthier options like fruit or non-commercial cereals like oats.
6. Throughout the day, set a timer on your phone for some ‘do-not-disturb’ time. Use this to go somewhere private, close your eyes, take several deep breaths like you did first thing, and check-in with your mind and body. Feeling good or stressed? Need to get some lunch, go for a walk, stretch in the chair, roll your head, neck and shoulders to let go of some tension?
7. Whether you work away or at home, it’s important to have an end to the working day. Sadly, with our phones always at hand, it can be difficult to switch off, and with notifications pinging away, we need discipline to at least have embargo periods. For example, if you have young children, try silencing your phone at least during meal preparation, eating and the kids’ bedtime.
8. Do your best to minimise alcohol intake too, as the body needs to metabolise this during sleep, which can affect deep sleep cycles and increase sleep apnoea in those susceptible, having a further negative effect on the quality of sleep. This can sadly lead to ongoing sleep issues, which take their toll during the day, causing unhealthy cycles to develop.
9. Much has been written about ‘blue light’ from computers and TVs, so if deep and restful sleep isn’t easy for you, try using a quiet alarm or reminder on your phone, to remind you to shift your focus to perhaps dimmed lighting and a book, or other ways to relax before bed
10. The quality of sleep has a big impact on how we function throughout our day, so it’s imperative we get solid, undisturbed blocks of sleep. Whether it’s a darkened room, ambient music, or sleep rituals and regular timing (so our body gets into a rhythm and knows when to expect sleep), all help with getting to sleep.

While replacing unhealthy habits is not as simple as flicking a switch, with persistence and patience, we can make significant shifts in our sense of self. The secret is to start small. Buddying up for a morning walk, for example, can help us stay on track while we establish rituals that support our personal development and growth. Oh, and be patient and compassionate with yourself while you do.

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John Broadbent, author of Man Unplugged, is a specialist coach, mentor, retreat creator, and facilitator with nearly 30 years of experience in men’s personal development. He has witnessed first-hand the profound impact societal stereotypes have on boys and men, including his own sons, and leads rite-of-passage programs for men navigating significant life transitions. Find out more at https://manunplugged.com.au/